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The Ghosts of Last Night

by Alex Elbery

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1.
2.
I circled the city three whole times before I even noticed that it was my face on all those wanted posters. Because I'm the dance that the dead do when nobody's looking, I'm the smell in the kitchen when nobody's cooking. I'm the moment of dreaming colour that slips through when you wake, I'm the hands that tried to grab you as you swum across the lake. I'm the trickle in your throat while you're chewing that fat. I'm the ghost of last night and the night before that. And 'til the last one is done with I'll keep coming back. I'm the dark in your sons room when you promise him his closets are empty and I'm the shame on your face when he asks you why you won't look in there for me. I'm your husbands boss, the only woman he ever really tried to please and after a night of trying to love him, I'm the graze on your kness. And the bruise in your throat, where he got carried away and the reason you can't ask him why he only loves you that way. I'm the boy that got you in trouble as kids after you said that he could touch yours if you could touch his, I'm the pact he went back on and the guilt you've carried since in the dry flakes of spit on the edge of your lips. I'm the ghost of your past and your fathers before that and 'til the last one is done with I'll keep coming back. You're the moment I wake up to realise they're still gone. You're the reason there's nowhere I'll ever belong. You're the river where I tried drowning my past and you're the hands it climbed out with the night before last. You're the reason they're gone and they're not coming back. You're my EKG spiking on my first heart attack. You're why living this hard has made my body so soft. You're the blood on my hands I see after I cough. You're the reason he died all alone in the dark and why I'll only ever be half now of one big broken heart. You're the reason I can't love her for no good reason at all, why I climb up so high just to watch myself fall. You're me as a kid, planning on running away and you're why I'm running still to this very day. You're my flimsy excuses, you're used to the fact that if I keep going, I'll keep coming back. We're the reason this fire turn the sand into glass; so we can blame our reflections for the stupid questions they ask. We're the reason the sunlight makes green of the grass. And being green ain't easy, believe me, just ask, I know that's why our bodies make angels when they fall in the snow and though no two are alike, we still spend out whole lives trying to find a way to photosynthesise. To become something more, start tipping the scale, so what's the reason we continually fail? We're the reason the sun won't stop chasing the moon and we're the reason he'll catch up to her soon. So if you are the reason I've been circling the city all night, then I am the reason we're so much alike. We're the ghosts of last night and the night before last and we'll keep coming back until I am the last. ghost of last night and the night before that and I am the last one I'll always come back.
3.
I'm always on the run from burning houses and setting suns with a ghost in my passenger seat headed east tonight I'm always on the run from haunted houses and haunted suns I'm a kid that's breaking out of his own skin like the first time that you realise you've been lied too once again I'm always on the road I'm almost always stoned I'm a fool that's breaking out of his own head Like the first time that I realised I don't need you nonononono noooooooooo I'm always on the run from haunted houses and haunted suns I'm a kid that's breaking out of his own skin. Like the first time that you realise you have died.
4.
Two one way street signs pointing at each other A man walks into a bar an englishman and an irishman and we all go drunk driving in my car. What's the difference between? Oh, the hands on your watch tick backwards, huh? How many light globes does it take to screw me? And to see you in the dark. where were you when the lights went out? Knock knock, who's there? White van anxiety. Don't you be a stranger now to me and my girl calliope The Boss says 'I just wanna see you smile' and the Joker says the same two sets of big bouncing balls playing the exact same game so where were they when the lights went out? Am I a hero or a villain? How am I supposed to know? All I know is I'm killing it now every which way that I go. All I know is I make angels when I fall in the snow though we don't get much snow 'round here in the valley below. We only get sunshine so bright that it stings a few runaway fires and the songs that they sing but where was I when the fire went out?
5.
Be present that's a gift everybody's got one to give and mine just happens to be this. So be ready when you wake I'll be under your tree while you wait to unwrap all my biggest mistakes. Just be happy and that's it. That's all there is, only one life to live. So just live, and let living forgive. Because you're trying at least you tried but your best laid plans died like mice in your hands so be gentle some things break when you hold them that way, so you just give them away and your love is my burden tonight. 'Cause I'm tired and that's all I hear the early bird call as I walk through this wall to get caught surrender me because I know there must be something that I'm supposed to see, but I just need a pair of wings. Because I'm the ghost of last time and the time before last and 'til I'm done with there's nothing to ask. I'm just the ghost of your love and hers before that and 'til the last one is done with it's never enough. So just live and let living forgive.
6.
I'll keep an eye out for you on Victoria street but we'll stop making plans to meet. I'll still fly my signal in the sky but I might not get the chance to say goodbye. 'Cause I'm facing down an endless road and where it goes nobody really knows. So goodnight gotham I've got to go Goodnight, goodbye, I love you so My heart's been working overtime in my chest like it was a diamond mine. And oh, it's been getting underpaid so I heard the word that he's going on strike today. I'm sorry, I should've listened to you, my little canary down there on a mission, you knew that I always figured it couldn't get much worse ever since I sent you down the first but then again it wasn't I that heard your insides bursting. It was all for nothing how was I to know? of all the trouble, beneath the rubble of your bones. So goodnight gotham I've got to go Goodnight, goodbye, I love you so It's always in the darkest times that you find diamonds in the mines but now when I think of what it's cost me of you, my little canary lost inside my ribcage these are dark days. I just climb the tallest buildings day and night trying to set this whole thing right... but I... I say; goodnight gotham I've got to go Goodnight, goodbye, I love you so. Goodbye Gotham how was I to know? Goodnight, goodbye, you're on your own.

about

Recorded, mixed and printed over 2 manically creative days beginning on the 11th of March 2014.

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released March 17, 2013

All songs written, recorded and performed by Alex Elbery, except the Ghost of Tom Joad which was written by Bruce Springsteen.

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Alex Elbery Melbourne, Australia

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